Weird Ripples in your 3d Print? - How to fix the 'First Layer Wrinkle Pattern Problem'

This was bugging me a lot - I calibrated the printer to the millimetre, but it would spit out prints with a weird ripple effect on the bottom from something it was doing on the first layer. Find out within why the 3d printer ripple effect happens, what causes the weird distorted zig-zag pattern, and how to make your undersides as smooth as you wish they were! All this in 3 minutes 24 seconds!