Hello, Starbucks!

Listen, Bartender, this is so hard. Turn off the music. I want to chat. I like to smoke, drink Irish whiskey. I like to joke. I'm smart! I'm frisky! Maybe you think I'm a redneck? So be my brother and watch my back. Hey dude, don't fool it! You'll get a bullet. I'm not a robber, but you can see my "Flaubert". I'm leaving, I can't stay. And how much should I pay? This is my last one hundred bucks. Whiskey, goodbye. Hello, Starbucks!